So I'm sitting here cross-legged stressing: "What do people want to read? What do they want to know? I hope the font for this blog isn't Helvetica..." My brain can be a busy place at times, so I'm glad I had some journalistic (still can't type that word in one try) training to fall back on. At least I know not to worry about the title 'til the end. Funny how that rule seems to pop up in other places, too: first things first, or "do not be anxious about tomorrow."
Jesus tells us in Matthew 6:34 (ESV) "Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." How comforting a reminder this is! Honestly, I know this verse. I have read and shared it more than a few times, but I could not recall it until I sat down to write this post and realized what a mess I was making of things.
When I paged through the concordance in my increasingly on-hand Lutheran Study Bible to look for "tomorrow," I found this verse in Matthew and realized I had underlined it for a very good reason. I love structure! Details, knowledge, certainty, and an understanding of the future are important to me. Can you also see where this is going? Since I was at least 8, the stacks of books that I am going to read have menaced my family, my planners bloated with dates, notes, and fliers have leaked papers in my study spaces and backpacks, and my head has been crowded with what I have to do, what I should do, what I might do, what I want to do, and what I shouldn't do.
Since I have accepted the position of Communication Specialist for the Africa Region in the Office of International Missions of The Lutheran Church--Missouri Synod, I have learned to laugh even more at myself and what I would jokingly refer to as a devotion to order, certainty, and the small stuff. I think most people who have lived longer than I can verify that these pieces of life can change in an instant. From what I have heard, it sounds like this is even more relevant for a missionary like myself. My first thoughts upon learning this? "Oh, goody." Don't get me wrong! I love a challenge, and I have wholeheartedly embraced trying new things, traveling, and other former frustrations as I have matured. However, I'd love to let you in on a little secret. Among my family, we have a joke. We say with a little smile that there is a certain c-word that Phil finds "scary-bad." What is that word, you might ask? It's change.
I'm going to talk more about the plans that I once had for myself and worked hard to achieve, and where I found myself after my current collegiate endeavors, but for the moment, change is the important theme. It's something in which I am always learning to discern God's plan and His purpose for me, and it allows me continual opportunities to glorify Him and serve others.
After graduating from undergraduate studies at Lehigh University, my beloved alma mater, in 2012, I had no career, very little money, and just as much sense and humility as every college graduate can have: not much. Somewhere between May of 2012 and February of 2013, I felt like Truman Burbank, played by Jim Carrey, in one of my favorite movies, "The Truman Show". Truman lives an idyllic life full of structure, routine, and predictability. He has a beautiful wife, a steady job, and is a member of a pristine community called Seahaven. Truman is entirely self-content until, when he is about 30 years old, he finds certain aspects of his life to be too coincidental. While stargazing one night, he is almost hit by a stage light that seems to fall from the sky. Eventually, Truman Burbank learns that the life he understands is a life planned by someone else, the director of a television show that follows Truman's every move inside a dome created to act as a set and a habitat for him. In short, the life he has been living and is constrained to is a fake, and he yearns to escape Seahaven and the dome to find life outside.
God saw fit to drop a stage light, a perceived snag, into the plans of my life, and boy, did he get my attention in a big way. He turned my eyes to Him, and granted me the privilege of serving His kingdom, for which I am eternally grateful and even more in awe of Him. I hope to share what got me to this point, where I am now as I prepare to live and work throughout Africa serving as a GEO, or Globally Engaged in Outreach missionary, and perhaps even beyond. If I have not already scared you away with my verbosity, I cordially invite you to journey with me. I would be delighted to share with you all that God has taught me in my short life, the forgiveness, grace, and love that He so richly lavishes, and the work and struggles that I will complete and undergo in this opportunity to serve.
The two thoughts that I would like to leave you with for the time being, along with any others that you have taken from this post, are from Proverbs and Paul's letter to the Philippians. I hope to always draw my strength and knowledge from the Lord and cultivate the humility necessary to keep my eyes and heart on Him, not on anything that I think I can do for myself or anything that I would attribute as being mine. In that mindset, I love a passage, Proverbs 3:5-6, that says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths." I felt that, as a young person planning to enter the workforce and as a sinful human being dependent on God for every good thing that I have in my life, the mindset of humility espoused in this secular quotation was a good thing to remember. The other thought I would like to share is Philippians 1:6, "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Indeed! Anything that I would call improvement, personal growth, or a gift, I dedicate that glory to God, the One who has done it for me and through me, and in all believers through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ! That I should be His servant is a blessing beyond comprehension.
I look forward to sharing the work of our missionaries in Africa, and the Word with those who know and do not yet know God in the United States, Africa, and throughout the world. Until next time, dear friends, "And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:7)
Prayer requests: I ask for help in "letting go and letting God;" working on developing structures and systems to help me function at my best; that the Lord would give me the words to speak; that God would send supportive and talented people to help me in places that I struggle, and that I would let them help me; and that "the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." (Psalm 19:14 ESV)
